Its funny the emotions, thoughts and memories that I go through each day. I'm pretty much on a roller coaster each day. I have nothing but time. Its starting to get colder, so days out on the scooter are getting limited and I am "trapped" inside a little more. I love it - my creativity levels are through the roof, but that is part of the problem. This is not our roof I am under. Since we are rooming with someone, space is restricted. Tad and I have made a cozy space out of the studio style basement we are in, but I don't have a table, I can't get my sewing machine out yet, the kitchen isn't big enough for me to can and someone else use it, too. I am somewhat stifled. Talk shows irritate me, the craft shows inspire me and we don't have the cooking channel (probably good since I could truthfully eat all day). I have listened to my ipod enough, I can probably predict the next song even on random.
So in all this, begins the heart to hearts that I have with .... myself. Recounting experiences in my life. Did I make the right choice in that moment. Yes, good. No, what did I learn? Places I have lived, places I want to live. Things that I still want to do before I leave this planet. People who have come and gone, or is it me that comes and goes? Half empty, half full? I like to think that I have been more of a thankful there is anything at all in my glass, kind of person.
I'm rambling, but this is my blog so I can do what I want, how I want. I want to ramble therefore I ramble. When I was a freshmen in high school I met my good friend Jessica Tisor. I would stay the night at her house sometimes (she had way better living accommodations than I did, and food. Many times we didn't have very much that) and we would play this sort of game. I would type and at the same time we would make up stories. There was no backspacing allowed. When we were done, we would print it out and read it the way it was typed. We would laugh so hard we would have tears in our eyes and we could barely even talk. That was fun.
I think about the friends I have made through the years, its such a diverse group of people. Jennifer Bishop is the only person I have ever been kicked out of class with. Poor Mr. Johnson. He had no idea what he had when we were in his class. We must have made an impression because when I delivered his mail 15 years later, he recognized me and swore he would never forget who we were. HA!. Tara Smart, 7th grade. Kenneth Newton 8th grade. Jessica Tisor 9th or 10th grade. Chasity, Misty and Lisa 11th and 12th grade. Oh the trouble we never got in trouble for - Ha ha ha. Saturday nights are Misty's. Crusin in the mustang in Modesto. I remember sitting in the middle in the backseat and having to hold the stereo. Desirea Doktor Army, Fort Bliss. Amber and Justin Stephens. My Tad - I met the most amazing man when I met him 305 days before I was supposed to get out of the army. And when I met Tad, I got Chris, too. Robin Wood in Arkansas. The cool people of my family in California. Arizona.....Sara, Sheera, Karyneeeeeee,Mary, Desi, Amanda, Sandy, I really could go on and on. I have a couple year rule when it comes to living places. It makes it easier to move when you don't have a good group of people to leave behind. Leaving Arizona was probably the saddest for me. Although I was coming to live with my Tad, and that has been long overdue. Oh how I have missed living with my very own husband. So over explaining to people that "we just make it work", and phone calls and visits. Who visits their husband? Woman with felon husbands - ha ha ha. See I make myself laugh quite often.
In my ideal funeral service, there would be a big party, lots of food and good music, and all of those people would come together and remember the times that we each had. Kind of morbid to think about, but its true. No sadness, my life has been AMAZING and I would never want anyone to think that I "never got to" anything.
Okay, enough of the rambling and wha wha's - I'm off to exercise, craft and eat. :)
Enjoy the day my friends.
PS - I really am happy here, don't get me wrong, just having a woe is me kind of a day. I'm entitled, usually I am making other people forget their worries.
